Assertiveness and Assumptions

Continuing on from where I left off yesterday, resolution No. 8 is to grow some balls! I tend to presume things or let things go only to stew over them for a day...then wake up early the next day to give them a good stir and let them simmer some more. I think this has got everything to do with giving a shit what people think of me. Really who CARES what people think? I could never in a million years be a rude prick or snidey bitch so what am I worried about? I can, however, be a grovelling apologiser and frankly I'm sick of it.

This has all come about because I woke up about half an hour ago stewing and simmering over some loose ends I left at work two and half weeks ago. I remember the first day of my leave, when 3 weeks spanned like eternity ahead of me, a little thought snuck into my head. It went a little like this:

"Don't you dare give one thought to work for three weeks."

Propping up this lovely thought was the feeling that everything was pretty much under control. Then I thought this:

"Shit, I really should have registered (da boss) for that conference in in New Zealand."

Then:

"Fuck! Why didn't I do it? I know it wasn't signed off but I could have at least got the registration form in."

Then:

"Fuck, fuck, I'm an idiot. I've really got to do something about this now."

The registration forms were with the finance department ready and waiting to be approved. I have an ok relationship with this department in general but it can sometimes get a bit grrrr with the book keeper (we'll just call her Toots). Generally Toots and I get along rather well. Her good points are that she can be really, really nice and helpful and I reckon she generally means well. Her not so good points are that she can get pretty rude (when she's in a bad mood) and let's just say she's not adverse to the odd power trip.

Anyway, I wanted to impinge on my holiday mindset in the least possible way so I sent an email to Toots the week after Christmas asking her to locate the conference forms and put them aside so I could come in and fax them off that week. The office is located in Fitzroy which is about a ten minute drive from home and where I do all me fun stuff so this wasn't going to be a hassle.

I get a very nice email back from Toots saying she will 'sort it out' and to 'enjoy my holiday'. Do I gather from this that she will fax the goddamn forms or just put them aside? Do I ask her to clarify? NO, just a grovelly thank you and an undeclared assumption that 'sort it out' means faxing the conference forms.

I just manage to not worry about it....Until the beginning of this week.

So I email her again.

"Thanks again blahdeblahblah...did you fax those conference forms?"

Her response was "I did everything you asked me to do".

Now I am worried but what do I do? If I'd reached the stage where I honestly acted in my best interest and not in the interest of hoping Toots doesn't think I'm a mother hubbard worrywort I would call her and demand a straight answer (in the nicest possible way, of course!)

I haven't reached my goal YET so right now I just have to hope for the best and assume that her above response is a roundabout way of saying 'Yes, I did fax those forms that very day."

Now that you are rivetted by my rich working life I will be sure to keep you posted on what happens when I get back to work next Monday.